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May 19, 2013

The Other Woman; Why Settle for Less?

As a little girl, did you say, "when i grow up, i hope to fall in love with another woman's man and aid in the destruction of their marriage?" I highly doubt those were your romantic aspirations.  -Writeous Warda

People date to find companionship, a mate, or someone to share their life with. But does that include dating a married man? A married man has all of the above because he has a wife, then why would a woman still want to date someone who is legally bound to another person? Why run from a relationship of your own and settle for second best when you can eat from your own plate?

My fellow ladies, let's have some self-worth. God made jewels not junk! So, let's be clear and real. A man who could easily forsake his vows for a new love interest is already showing you a lack of integrity and commitment. Would you want such qualities for a man?

It's amazing how we can overlook flashing red lights when it comes to romance. There are no positive reasons  for dating a married man. Even the good reasons don't stand the test of time, and usually turn out to be bad ideas in good ideas clothing. 

There is too much to gain from a married man but not much enough to compensate your self-worth. You will remain the to-go-to woman when he gets tired at home. He knows that he can throw in a few shillings and material possessions your way and that is all you will ever expect. And at some level, he's going to have trouble respecting you for settling for such a flawed relationship. You are allowing to be used by making it easy for him.

Think about his wife and kids and the damage you are inflicting on yourself. A man stealer, home wrecker, call girl titles and all the shame and guilt that comes with it. Like it or not, you are a willing participant in a man violating his vows and betraying the trust of his wife who's been through it all with him, then you come in at the 11th hour to intrude upon her turf.

Having to keep your relationship a secret can attack your self-esteem and cause you to miss out on one of the wonderful aspects of a relationship that comes from walking together freely and radiantly through the world, the glow of being with someone who is proud of you.

Ever notice how quickly the years go as you get older? Because it's convenient and comfortable, a relationship with a taken man can go on for a long time and before you know it, eat up the precious time you might have had in a healthy relationship with a chance of flourishing. Regret and bitterness settles in.

Giving your female lot a bad reputation! While we complain about men being cheaters, and yet, there you are doing the same!  Pause and inhale deeply and reflect. Step into your magnificence and stop playing small. Look up!


Bible verses on dating a married man:

  • Hebrews 13:4    _Let marriage be held in honor by all, and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
  • 1 Corinthians 6:18    _Flee fornication. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he that commits fornication sins against his own body.
  • 1 Corinthians 7:2   _Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
  • Proverbs 18:22   _Whosoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the LORD.
  • Ephesians 5:33   _Nevertheless let everyone of you in particular so love his wife as himself, and the wife see that she respect her husband.
Do not permit anyone to strip you off your dignity. Hold your head up high, own your space!


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