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May 13, 2013

My Social Mode

The other day a friend emailed and was all joys after reading some of my blog posts, urging me on to create more since he liked the flow and wanted to see it go places . Feeling carried away with the remarks and amidst enthusiastic responses, he simply wrote... "What are friends for?''

Lost in that uplifted, feel good moment, i remembered an article i had read somewhere about friendship being in two sets, balcony and basement people. Balcony people are those who are consistently cheering us on, to live in ever widening circles, to dare, to break through our lives' sound barriers. Basement people are those who live in our minds, telling us we will never amount to anything and that we are doomed to fail. 

Analyzing my bunch of friends, i conclude, friendships are what helps us be human. To some i feel safe to talk about anything and easily switch roles, taking care and being taken care of. Most others stay at the feeling level where everything is "fine," although we all know that is not true. The rest have rules, about which person will do what share of the emotional and logistical work. To all, i try as much as possible not to play the echo role, do my part and being my true self at all times.

It's not about the number but what can you give back that matters. There is a huge trend lately to collect as many friends as possible on social sites, with this cultural encouragement to amass people, one can miss the whole point. Because we need authentic deep friendships. Why? Friends touch our hearts, challenge our minds, inspire us to pursue our passions just like how my friend did, and make life a fulfilling place to be.

 "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive," Anais Nin wrote. Every person is a new door to a different world and at that i can proudly say, my friends, some twice my age, others half, some rich, others humble, some white, black like me, have added richness to my life that only variety can bring.

 If only we'd stop "watching friends" and instead focus on "making friends" the joys of friendship could be experienced at a beautiful level:

  1. To be make a friend, be a friend.
  2. Gather as many relationships of shared virtue into your inner circle and focus on them.
  3. Sacrifice, be the bridge. The fulfillment is immeasurable!
  4. Seize every often with your friends, the deeper the connection the higher the emotional rewards.
  5. Relate as it is basis, accept others unconditionally.
  6. Be real.
 Well, nothing comes easy even in friendships, unless we are willing to give more than taking, until then we will be truly worthy of the name FRIEND!


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